#4
(1) Analyze the strengths and weaknesses of each sentence
(2) Revise the document so that it follows this chapter's guidelines
This is particular document is requesting information for Nick Oshinski. The last sentence in the first paragraph reads (This means, of course, that I would be the person best qualified to answer your request for information on Nick Oshinski); although this statement may be true, the person comes off sounding cocky and insincere. I would change it to say, "As the human resource director, I could easily answer your request for information..."
The first sentence of the second paragraph has a grammatical errors that standout. The body of this paragraph doesn't at all make the negative sound positive. The close statement did sum everything up but was not cordial.
If I had to rewrite this request this is what it would say:
Your letter to Kunitake Ando, President of Sony, was forwarded to me because I am the human resources director. In my job as HR, I have access to performance reviews for all of the Sony employees in the United States. So as the HR, I am most suitable to answer your request for information on Nick Oshinski.
In your letter on the 15th, you asked about Nick Oshinski's employment record with us because he has applied to work for your company. Mr. Oshinski was employed with our company for ten years. While he worked for this company, Mr. Oshinski received ratings ranging from 2.5 up to 9.6, with 10 being the top score. As you can see, over the course of time that Mr. Oshinski was employed here he learned the rules of the trade and found his on way to come out on top.
In summary, Nick Oshinski handled his task and managers very well which enabled his performance for this company to excel.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Document Design Instructions For Administrative Assistants Activity
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Monday, January 25, 2010
Professional Bio Page
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Professional Bio Page
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Thursday, January 21, 2010
Audience Profile textbook pg. 63
(1) Who is my audience? (2) What is my audience's general attitude toward my subject? (3) What does my audience need to know?
9. An advertisement for peanut butter
(1) Who is my audience? The audience would be kids in elementary and middle school.
(2) What is my audience's general attitude toward my subject? The general attitude of my audience is very positive. They see peanut butter as a healthy snack at any time of the day but especially when getting home from school.
(3) What does my audience need to know? My audience needs to be aware of food allergies because the most common starts with the peanut.
11. A cover letter sent along with your resume to a potential employer
(1)Who is my audience? In this scenario the audience would be the boss of the company, but if not the boss someone who works in upper management in that particular company.
(2) What is my audience's general attitude toward my subject? The audience's general attitude toward my subject could go both ways positive or negative; positive if he/she is eager to hire someone like me; negative if they have seen one too many people like me and want to hire on someone new and fresh.
(3)What does my audience need to know? My audience would need to know somethings about my background (i.e. ever been arrested, ever been fired, etc.)
9. An advertisement for peanut butter
(1) Who is my audience? The audience would be kids in elementary and middle school.
(2) What is my audience's general attitude toward my subject? The general attitude of my audience is very positive. They see peanut butter as a healthy snack at any time of the day but especially when getting home from school.
(3) What does my audience need to know? My audience needs to be aware of food allergies because the most common starts with the peanut.
11. A cover letter sent along with your resume to a potential employer
(1)Who is my audience? In this scenario the audience would be the boss of the company, but if not the boss someone who works in upper management in that particular company.
(2) What is my audience's general attitude toward my subject? The audience's general attitude toward my subject could go both ways positive or negative; positive if he/she is eager to hire someone like me; negative if they have seen one too many people like me and want to hire on someone new and fresh.
(3)What does my audience need to know? My audience would need to know somethings about my background (i.e. ever been arrested, ever been fired, etc.)
Thursday, January 14, 2010
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